Helping Children Overcome Bullies and Bullying Behavior:
A Non-Violent Approach to Resisting Bullies
Aggressive behavior of young people towards other children has reached severe levels in many communities. According to the US Government agency, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) “Bullying is any unwanted aggressive behavior(s) by another youth or group of youths that involves an observed or perceived power imbalance and is repeated multiple times or is highly likely to be repeated. Bullying may inflict harm or distress on the targeted youth including physical, psychological, social, or educational harm.”
As many researchers have noted, bullying is not restricted to physical attacks but can be verbal, emotional, or socially driven behavior. Ostracization of children, not just pushing and shoving, also alienates and can cause lasting harm. Historically, some ill-informed parents found it acceptable or even ‘cute’ to see their child dominate other children. It wasn’t uncommon in the 20th century to see parents brag about their children’s prowess on the playground or ability to “take down” other children. Unfortunately, parents of the baby boomer generation not only failed to stop their children from bullying but even encouraged it. Fathers, and some mothers, encouraged their children to ‘fight back” and “stand up for themselves” in dealing with aggressive behavior from bullies, actions which only accelerates the violence.
Though counterintuitive to many, standing up to aggression with a thoughtful, firm yet passive response is the method that many great religious leaders have taught for generations. Afterall, it was Jesus who taught his disciples to ‘Turn the other cheek”, when attacked. M. L. Gandhi, the great teacher of non-violent protest, wrote “to answer brutality with brutality is to admit one's moral and intellectual bankruptcy and it can only start a vicious circle.”
Reverend Martin Luther King, bullied from Birmingham to Boston, reminds us “In spite of temporary victories, violence never brings permanent peace. It solves no social problem; it merely creates new and more complicated ones.” These words are from a man who throughout his adult life was a target of bullies who taunted him physically, emotionally, socially and were unceasing in their desire to prompt Dr. king to “Fight back”. But Dr. King fought violence with intellect He used his words, his non-violent actions and his intelligence in resisting violence. He used his brain instead of his hands to defeat the bullies in his life. He gathered around him like-minded friends and associates who agreed with his approach to dealing with bullies and assembled a team of world-changing colleagues to teach lessons for every generation.
Jesus Christ, M. Gandhi and Dr. King lived successfully amongst bullies and overcame bullying behavior. They demonstrated how we should teach our children to overcome the bullies in their lives: not with their fists, but with their brains and their like-minded friends.
Thomas Bogle
Author: Back Off Buzz! Ollie Outsmarts the Bully
www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/bullying-definitions-final-a.pdf